Coping with Christmas time!

It seems only apt to write a post on the family and coping with Christmas right now. I know many people light up with sparkly eyes when it comes to this time of year. For some it can be quite a different feeling. Personally, I am ambivalent. I have come to expect that the darkest time of year is not only about the need to celebrate Christmas but also to get through the Winter until the light returns.

A bit of a milestone is crossed when the Winter Soltace (night of the 21st- 22nd December) is reached and I somehow become more optimistic. I used to feel like I was holding my breath under water in the darkness.

If I was single, then I guess the story would be completely different but I am very conscious of the fact that not only do I have to be functional for my family but I want them to be healthy and happy too!

These are my considerations this Christmas :

1) Keeping everybody healthy

and flu free!

2) Shelling out - Paying for Christmas: the trimmings and trappings : ideas for skógjarfir (gifts to put in shoes from the Christmas trolls).

3) Making the season and Christmas Day (!) special for our family since we are Christian

4) Keeping the stress down to a minimum

5) How to keep the children active outside since there is so much darkness and cold?

How do you do it?

Cynthia :

Keeping everyone in the family healthy this Christmas has been a big issue this Winter, and somehow more relevant due to the current crisis. My kids seem to always be getting one thing or another. But thankfully, all ailments: sniffles, headaches, stomach bugs have all been short-lived.

Apart from the recommended hygiene regime, I concentrate on a good sleep routine, healthy diet, intermittent vitamins, enough fermented vegetables and bone broth. Of course, a happy spirit is vital as well. Not all of that is possible all of the time but we do our best.

Christmas on a Budget!

This year has been particularly hard, and somehow there is just never enough money to forget about what it will cost and shell out for everything we want.

We ask our kids what they want the most - a Christmas list is a great way to get them thinking about what Christmas means for them, not just the presents!

Managing kids´expectations for Christmas will make everything a lot easier on yourself and the kids. I know there is a lot of hype around this time of year and the advertising on media can be brutal. Kids may come to expect their Christmas tree to be brimming with presents that they may never get, so talking to them about this in a simple and factual way may make the day more enjoyable for everyone. My youngest child felt that at the end of the day the most special part was just celebrating together in some way with the family.

The proverbial Jólasveina gjöf tradition is always a node of contention in my house. We are a mixed cultural household so we have been very upfront about the little Christmas Trolls coming to our house and leaving gifts in the kids´ shoes. So we actually ask the kids whether they would like to follow the Anglo-saxon tradition of a Christmas stocking or if they would prefer gifts in their shoes each year.

I can appreciate that not everyone will want to spoil the Christmas spirit and let their kids in on the secret but here I don´t think this knowledge has detracted from their wonder and delight on receiving a surprise gift in their shoe.

Here are my ideas for managing Christmas presents:

A budget is a good way to make sure you never spend more than you can afford for Christmas. Even if you find out that all you can afford to do is to buy a few candles and send a personalised email letter out to everyone, so be it. But saving up a few kronurs every week, put aside for Christmas will help you work out how Christmas will look like.

There are various ways to shop smarter so that you don´t have to pay full price for items. Waiting for sales or looking out for discount baskets can be very worthwhile. We order from the internet for Black Friday and Cyber Monday deals. Also checking different blog sites can produce different discount savings based on what you are looking for. A lot of web shops have a "On Sale" page for discontinued or not-so-popular lines.

I try to buy experiences (like a ticket to a concert or performance) or items that will be more than just plastic one-time use. Some ideas are stationary, like a letter writing kit; arts and craft kits; extension packs to existing board games that the kids are keen on like Magic or Pokemon cards; movie tickets or a voucher to a homewares shop so the kids can choose their own item of furniture or lamp.

Since we have a large, rambling extended family we try to remember to buy presents that would be needed rather than just appreciated for the thought. My favourite gifts are to give oldies a pair of Icelandic wool, rag socks. They are beautifully warm and rugged and perfect for homes in other countries where the heating is so much more expensive and oldies will be saving on their electricity bills. This time of year, the socks will be especially welcome. I noticed that the Rauðakrossinn had a good selection of knitted wear for sale for a reasonable price.

In a day and age when people have everything that they need, finding something from people that have everything they want (!) is difficult. Here, being personal is the key. This year Grandma will be getting an artistic gift from each one of the kids since she can´t be with us.

We can´t give everyone we would like to a present, that would just be too expensive but I try to remember those I love by sending a personalised email, with family picture to let them know we are thinking of them.

I heard another lady talk about how she would have bought all her presents in February after the New Year´s sales. That way, she had Christmas wrapped up all ready and could enjoy the year without fretting when November arrived.

Making Christmas Day special

Celebrating can be done in many ways. Many traditions have a meal as the centre of their celebration. This year we have checked with our church´s mass and events timetable and will be attending the Nativity play and the Christmas Eve mass as well as Christmas Day. The late Christmas vigil is just out of the question for the kids as our church hold´s its mass at 22. So this means that our special meals will be arranged around those times. Usually one main Christmas meal is made and then the other days are filled with leftovers or simple fare to patch some substance in between all the extra treats.

In the run-up to Christmas I like to read small passages from the Bible to the kids. The chocolate Advent calendar usually has some religious symbol or some picture for the day that is related to Christmas that we can talk about. What might these symbols mean? How could the Bible reading and its messages be applicable in our daily lives? Candles are always a wonderful way to make a reading or prayer time special.

Keeping the STRESS down

I have realised that the key to managing an event all comes down to preparation. I have heard from mothers that are particularly good at this that they are able to carry off an occasion and actually enjoy their day as well, if well organised. There is nothing so un-enjoyable as having to endure a special occasion where Mum is ratty or cross from being stressed!

These are my strategies for avoiding stress: Writing lists of all the different aspects of the day; what order events will occur, shopping lists and invites. Making sure that other chores, like tidying the house are done well in advance helps! I have also learnt that with older children you can allocate chores so that everyone helps to make the event successful.

Keeping children active outside in the winter time

I’d like to write another post later on about “The Lonely Playground” for the Stay At Home Mother in Iceland… but I will just keep my coping with Christmas strategies to here first.

During these dark and cold days it is frequent that the kids do not want to go outside. Some days it doesn´t matter how many different suggestions I give them they just refuse, and the only exercise they get is either a setting them the task of running around the house or walking to their friend´s home to visit. However, sometimes they can be tempted by the thought of walking to a coffee shop for a treat, a slide on a challenging hill, a walk through Kjarnaskogur with the family or a go on my cross country skis while I run along side.

We don´t encourage screen time in our family but I know that screen time is greater during these dark days. However there are a multitude of indoor crafts and activities that the kids like to do as well. The key is always a healthy and well devised routine for the day (see our coming post on routine!), which serves to give certainty to the kids´ day, regulate their emotions and expectations, promotes security and personal initiative. Schedule free, rambling days are very few here, though I am the sort of person that loves to break out of structure too!

The schools tend to add to the build up to Christmas. I find that this is useful as it takes the pressure off me to provide extra Christmas cheer when I simply don´t have the time. The kids come home often before Christmas with an armful of decorations which we can use around the house. But for those at home, there are a whole bunch of websites devoted to making crafts easy for kids at home. I did find this cute and fun angel decoration, made by my friend Sonya .

Jenny:

For me, Christmas depends on how much energy and enthusiasm I have. We have had some pretty low-key holiday seasons, especially when I was heavily pregnant. However, as the kids get older, I don't think we will be able to get away with that much longer! Also, I do find that the excitement of the holiday season definitely helps get us all through the dark days.

As far as gifts on a budget, I always imagine I will be one of those highly organized people who starts shopping early--say, in June! Whenever I see something small and cheap, but also fun for shoe gifts (only we do stockings, because my mom knitted us each a beautiful Christmas stocking, so this is a way for us to combine cultural traditions), I try to snatch it up and stow it away in the secret 'gift cupboard'. I also try to do this for bigger gifts, in the hopes that we will have less last minute panic right before Christmas.

My children love to decorate--something they did not get from me! Inside entertainment frequently involves printing Christmas coloring papers off the computer, coloring, and hanging them on any free wall space. We also love to bake gingerbread cookies and decorate them. The challenge here is not to eat them all at once!

As my children get out of toddlerhood, I am realizing that we might develop new traditions as they think them up. Like Christmas coloring pages. And my older daughter recently asked if we could sing Christmas songs after we read the Christmas story and before we open presents. I thought this was a lovely idea, so we are adding it to our plan!

So far, we manage not to be very busy during the holiday. Once we get through the school parties, we tend to stay close to home, and just try to have lots of family time.